Over the last year, I have felt lower than I thought was possible. I adore my job. I love my children. I cherish my husband. I have gained 40 pounds over the last 10 years. I feel disgusting and unappreciated. My chemical imbalances have made me unstable and addicted in so many ways, Early ovarian failure and a sudden drop in estrogen certainly doesn't excuse everything. I am habitually exhausted and feel no desire to improve my situation. To be honest, I think about suicide daily. It is not reasonable, and would hurt so many people. Sometimes I just want to be selfish and feel my own relief. Sometimes I don't think it really matters if Im here or not. There is no ending to this post...It is what it is.
It hurts me to hear this. To know you were going through this alone.
ReplyDeleteReading your blog has opened my eyes. I will be more sensitive to how you feel and what you are going through. I am always here to do whatever you need to keep you from ever feeling like this again. I love you so much.